Air Madagascar on the 3rd January 2012
24.12.2011 - 14.01.2012 31 °C
Throw out any rules you know of air travel back home.
- You may not make it to the airport on time. Your taxi may be running on very reserve and may lose all power on a wet uphill, which a thousand revs and a near exploding engine will not remedy. In this case, your replacement driver may very well be eating hallucinogenic leaves and driving at night in the rain with dim, blurry sidelights (as opposed to headlights).
- But fear not, your plane will never be on time anyway.
- You may be locked out the airport, unable to speak Malagasy or French, waiting for what, you aren’t really sure. When a kind man in white-ish uniform approaches you with already-printed-and-customized boarding passes, fear not. Just say, “Wi,” and enter the airport.
- If you were sweating in fear because of the amount of alcohol and liquids in your hand luggage, fear not, there is not security check. Board with a red wine papsak dribbling down your leg and I'm sure you'll be fine.
- You may spend two hours in a tiny airport swatting mosquitos, killing biting ground-crawlers and playing a sweaty and sticky game of Presidents and Assholes on the waiting "lounge” floor
- You should, by all means, sit as close to the gate door as possible, even if you do have the luxury of a choice of a chair or are worried about airport etiquette. You see, he who boards first, sits first - ignore the seat number allocated to you on your boarding pass and sit as soon as you see a seat.
- You may not have much room in the overhead locker for hand luggage. Actually, if you are not amongst the first twenty people on the plane, you may not have any at all.
- If you feel that any of these things offend you, remember that buses are the Great Equaliser, despite desperate pushers and a lack of any formal queuing system. And if in doubt of this, remember that baggage reclaim is an even greater equalizer and you may very well walk out before those that pushed in front of you two hours earlier AND that got their bags into an overhead compartment.